Probably Not the Worst Mom in the World

I'm ashamed of only a small handful of things I've done (or accidentally allowed to happen) to my son.   I'm probably not the worst mom in the world, but I figured I'd share some of my worst blunders, you know, just in case you had the same idea.

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When my son came home from the hospital, he was still a bit yellowy, so his pediatrician from the NICU said to let him get some sun.  It was warm enough outside and the sun was shining.  So we got some sun.  He was eight days old.  And I stayed outside with him for an hour.  Without sunscreen.  It didn't even occur to me, but I did think ahead and cover his eyes with his sock. 

 

Not burned, but slightly pink enough that I was too ashamed for anyone to see you for a day or two.

 

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My son was forced to wear this awful outfit and sit like this because I thought it made him look like a cartoon baby:



 



 

This is probably the worst color on you, son.  Mommy's sorry.

 

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He needed a moustache for Halloween, so I made one with my waterproof mascara. 

 

 

You were the sweetest Brawny Man, but I'm sorry I had to scrub you with makeup remover. 

 

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I had never left my baby alone with our dog Max until this day.  Max appeared to be growing incredibly fond of the baby, so it seemed natural to let Max sit beside his new human best friend without me scolding him for doing so.  I turned my back and took one step away from the baby when my little boy shrieked like I had never heard before.  Max had grown fond of my boy indeed.  The dog was, well, the dog was trying to be intimate with my son's head.  Horrified, I removed the dog and comforted my son.  I'm sure it startled the baby because it was so quick.  Here they are, shortly after, with Max acting appropriately:

 

Max has done it to all of us.  Now you're part of the family.   







Truths of Smoking

I'm just going to say it.  I used to smoke cigarettes.  American Spirits... ahhhhh.  It was a social activity.  It was something to do with my hands.  It was a distraction from homework.  I fell in love with my husband while smoking.  I loved smoking and I will always love it, but I quit a few years ago and I will never smoke again.  These are the Seven Truths of Smoking. 

1. Smoking is cool.  Cool guys and gals smoke.  It makes you look sophisticated, laid back...like you've got it all together. 
2. It smells good, if you're a smoker. 
3. It creates a club that anyone who smokes any kind of tobacco in can freely enter and leave.
4. It is not a huge expense if you learn to roll your own and/or stub each one out after a few drags, then re-light when you need more. 
5. It relaxes you.
6. It is something to look forward to every morning.
7. It will kill you because it is so, so, so toxic. 

I had to quit.  So many loved ones have died because of their habits.  Please don't smoke anymore, friends.  At least, limit it to one cig per day.  Anything.  If you're addicted, get help now.  If you do smoke, I completely understand the appeal, but do a favor for your family and stop smoking as soon as you can. 

What an awful thing to say!

People have said this to me so many times that I have this freaky sensation when it's about to happen.  I feel blood rush to my head and my ears start pounding.  Wow, you must have a lot of time on your hands.  I think to myself: I just shared with you something that I thought was really beautiful and important so I made it a priority in my life and all you could do was disassemble everything that I thought was Good and True.  (Well, that's how it makes me feel anyway.)  And of course, I know why they say it.  It's because they feel overwhelmed by life and don't think they have the freedom to make things beautiful, which I get.  I mean, I really get it!  But what an awful thing to say!

I think it is not only pleasurable to be around beautiful things, but it is also necessary for your sanity.  Order is beautiful.  Good art is beautiful.  Imagination is beautiful.  Intentionality is beautiful.  I like to make things beautiful, in any way that I can.  It makes life better.  So when people say that, I get really self-conscious about my whole lifestyle.  It's like they're saying everything that I value in my "world" is silly. 

It's your world too, you know?  You can make your surroundings more beautiful, if you want.  It has nothing to do with money.  It is about intentionality.  My mom always reminds me that you make time for the things that you want.  And I want to be around beautiful things.  So I make it a priority.

And I think about my son.  He'll undoubtedly feel like making his things beautiful.  It seems to be only natural for children.  Of course, for a young boy this probably will amount to being imaginative (an element of beauty!) with his surroundings like making swords from sticks, and guns from tin foil.  I could never say to him Stop being creative and do something practical.  It's clear you have a lot of time on your hands.   

Making things beautiful is not idling.  It improves that which already is.  And it breaks my heart when people fail to see that. 

A Public Diary? (oops, at first I typed "pubic")

Hello, friends.  I'm excited and a little weirded out to be writing like this.  I feel so self-indulgent making what is essentially a public diary.  Nonetheless, my plan is to write regularly about lots of things--motherhood, fitness, things that I think are incredibly cool/awful... who knows?  Heck, I might even make VIDEOS!!!  Also, I stole this blog's name from someone I knew in college.  My middle name is Pearl and my maiden name is King, but he thought of it first.

A little about me and my life:
My son is four months old and I get to stay home with him during the day.  He's really into his feet.  In the evenings I tutor high school students so they can get high scores on their ACT.   My big goal in life right now is to be more vulnerable to the right people.  My husband writes fiction and teaches high school literature.  Our dog Max (a weiner dog) chews apart all of my son's favorite things.

Thanks for reading!


Vanessa